Blood Bowl Fluff

[Wyld Karde]

I used to play the tabletop version of Blood Bowl waaay back in the 2nd edition era, circa 1990.  I just unearthed a couple of splatbooks from the period and flipping through them reminded me how downright hilarious the fluff text could be.  Some of this stuff had me in stitches, so I figured I'd type up a few and share the laughs.

The Old Faith's Weather Forecasting Sub-Committee voted the Chaos All-Stars the Best Excuse for Errors in Forecasting after the All-Stars' match at Vynheim had to be postponed after the temperature reached 95o and the pitch melted.  The All-Stars claimed it had nothing to do with them, but there were doubts - despite the forecast for sub-zero temperatures and heavy snow, the Chaos lads turned up in shorts and shades!

In 2435, the Dwarf Giants lost 9 great players when they first lit a fire in the dug-out to get warm, which melted that side of the pitch, and then performed a victorious 'high-five' in the end zone after scoring, which tipped the floe over.
Norse stadia are now subject to mandatory safety checks.

It's an unfortunate part of the game, but there has been a trend recently for teams to abuse the rules concerning Violence Towards A Player Who Is Injured.  As you know, attacking a fallen player is strictly prohibited (for all the difference it makes).  However, certain players with reputations for killing the opposition have become very frustrated at not being able to claim fallen Skeletons as Kills For and have taken to reducing the bones to powder as proof of the kill.  Grimwold Grimbreath was sent off last year for spending twenty minutes atomising a Champions of Death lineman (which lead to him increasing his Referees Killed tally by 3 in protest).  Of course, it isn't always possible to tell Skeletons apart, so we can't tell if Champions coach Tomolandry the Undying is still able to piece them together or not.  As long as he keeps quiet on the subject, NAF statisticians are going to continue to be in confusion.

Never mind tempting Jeremiah Cool out of retirement - have you head of the new Dark Elf sensation, Meriann Lightning?  Various teams have been queuing up to pay a fortune to the Naggaroth Nightwings after Lightning was the only player to come through the door in this year's Crush.
Despite the many offers he has received, it seems no other teams have yet been able to temp Meriann away from the Nightwings.  He just couldn't refuse Naggaroth's guaranteed two Fatalities every match - even if this means the Naggaroth Cheerleaders become a little short staffed.

Due to runaway Machineries of Destruction, the Chaos Dwarf Black Death team of the World's Edge Superleague has yet to finish a season with any surviving fans.  The Black Death players don't seem to care though, as they proudly hold the all-time record for Most Spectator Casualties!

[Raveen]

There's a website out there somewhere that's collected all the fluff together, a good nostalgic read for the likes of me.

And of course fluff was the cause of the biggest bit of drama in BB history when Games Workshop took the rules, compiled by a volunteer with lots of fluff and so on, and removed all fluff so they didn't have to give credit. Which is why the Competition Rules Pack has no fluff and isn't LRB 6.

[Adept]

A classic example of corporate greed and stupidity there Rav. Bah. 

[Raveen]

GWs attitude to their communities is shockingly poor. The main blood bowl forum used to be called talk blood bowl, note it's called talk fantasy football...

So if anyone decides to get into tabletop bb they should buy their stuff from anyone but GW, impact miniatures has a great selection for example.