Rolling Thunder BBL Season 7

[DaigaroOgami]

Orkly Ducklings Blood Bowl Club release Press Statement

The Orkly Ducklings would like to make an offical comment on last night's match.

An internal investigation in underway to look into claims by the team that Wolf Urine was found splattered all over the pre-game mushrooms supplied by Percy's Fungus Farm. Whilst all supplies are checked for integrity on the way into the team changing room, it appears that they may have been tampered with, some suggesting the away team abusing PirlOrc's offer to 'make yourselves at home'.

It appears that Wolf Urine reacts badly with Pre-match 'shrooms, leaving those who imbibe them seriously weak and unable to do much more than gently push and tickle.

The Orkly Ducklings are unwilling to comment on the condition of PirlOrc, who suffered a cowardly attack during the match last night. Whilst the Ducklings are always happy to commend the physical side of the game, the team were left physically repulsed by the cowardly act of one Bigby Wolf who didn't hang around to get hit back after blindsiding PirlOrc. Negotiations are ongoing with David Bowie over adding one Bigby Wolf to his Greatest Hit List.

Once the club doctors have assessed PirlOrc's condition a further statement will be made regarding the future of his career.

PirlOrc and his family thank you all for your concern for his wellbeing and ask you to please respect their privacy in this difficult time.

[Gandalf]

Sorry for the lack of fluff in this post - good stuff guys - but shocking stats discovered!
Number of Everglade Wanderers Knocked over/Killed = 301/2 (no Rav, the Wardancer you "killed" is not included here)
Number of players Everglade Wanderers have knocked over/killed = 131/2

It would seem if you want someone brutally murdered, the Wood Elves are relatively efficient at it, compared to those who have to play them!

If Abom doesn't post a match report soon, I will do one, that game deserves one.

As a spoiler though I'll give you an injury update, Alan got badly hurt last game and Ernie got KO'ed for the team - deciding not to use Wrestle in order to create a turnover. What a dude. Also I have another AV5 elf (*just* a wrodge lineman).

[DaigaroOgami]

Number of Everglade Wanderers Knocked over/Killed = 301/2 (no Rav, the Wardancer you "killed" is not included here)

Jammy bleeder. Also add that you've only really had neg-stats as AV on decoy linemen.

Git.

[DaigaroOgami]

Oh, and Percy has been to obsessed in his grief for PirlOrc to notice that the rats beat the Wood Elves.

Top result for you Abom, well done.

[Gandalf]

Number of Everglade Wanderers Knocked over/Killed = 301/2 (no Rav, the Wardancer you "killed" is not included here)

Jammy bleeder. Also add that you've only really had neg-stats as AV on decoy linemen.

Git.

That's not true!I also have had -1 AG to my treeman! I may have had other injuries & had to retire players? I'm struggling to think of any though. I've played 2 soft & squidgy teams thus far this season, I'm sure later opponents will mash my players up a bit more.

[DaigaroOgami]

Even JAMMIER git.

I'm just feeling very bitter. PirlOrc is having surgery today; we're still not sure as to the extent of the damage.

Percy finally ate a mushroom today though, so that's a good sign. He finally stopped crying/screaming/hitting stuff for long enough to have a warm meal.

[id3nt1ty]

Percy finally ate a mushroom today though, so that's a good sign. He finally stopped crying/screaming/hitting stuff for long enough to have a warm meal.

What a big girl's blouse.

[Raveen]

Hopefully Percy's Wife is comforting him in this difficult time. Our thoughts are with all the Ducklingz.

[DaigaroOgami]

We'll see who's calling who a big girl's blouse when Bigby the Coward gets murdered; with his head placed on a snotling and paraded in the streets.

[Raveen]

94 year old cider fiend Joe Grundy will do his best to kill and kill again. He's already killed a Wardancer after all.

[id3nt1ty]

You're starting to sound a bit like a Lannister now dude...

Anyway, it's not like Bigby hasn't died before.

[notjarvis]

Pfft.

What's Pirl-orc got, move a bit slower? His namesake Pirlo barely moved around the pitch and he did fine.........

[DaigaroOgami]

Who's this Pirlo fella? Never heard of him.

We're still assessing the extent of PirlOrc's injuries, but we all know how serious injuries affect player's mindset too...

[Gandalf]

Riiiight time for a proper recap of the game from the weekend, as it deserves one.

Pre-match: Skaven get a wizard, a bribe, a mercenary Rat Ogre and a mercenary passer.

First half: Wood Elves win the toss, choose to receive. A Blitz is rolled! A hole is created through the Wood Elves' line (who were betting on a non-blitz roll really) and 4 players appear where the ball is coming to land - it dutifully falls into one of their hands. Bee Tiered injures a linerat. The Elves get the ball free, pick it up but can't run to safety so opt to pass - but it is intercepted!!! An easy run-in on Turn 1 makes it 1-0 to the Doomwheel and possibly the most eventful turn 1 ever... a TD, interception and an injury between us...

Wood Elves receive again, no blitz this time. Bee Tiered injures a line rat. The Elves make a mess of things leading to the ball carrier being marked by the Rat Ogre. The marked elf calls his buddies in and before he knows it the Rat Ogre is surrounded by 4 elves and is on his back. A 5th one comes in and fouls him - Badly Hurt! But the apothecary patches him up & he will be back next drive. With the fat smelly thing off the pitch and playing versus 9 the elves regain their composure, play some elfball and score on turn 4 to make it 1-1.

Third drive now and Nuffle thought it would be funny to interfere. The Skaven turn ends with the first player to roll a dice failing a GFI/loner. Wood Elves reply by sneaking through, picking up the ball right in front of a Skaven then a double 1 dodge happens. The Skaven get the ball back and something resembling a scrum develops. Soon the Skaven sportingly roll another double 1 to give the elves a chance to get the ball back.... which they fluff by stupidly trying to dodge into 3 tackle zones. Suddenly it was turn 8 and there was still a chance for the Skaven to score, but it would need some good rolls.. which they manage, just! It did need a re-rolled GFI via a Loner roll to happen though - the Skaven coach was a nervous wreck. 2-1 to the Skaven at half time.

Second half: I swear, you've never seen the ball travel so far in a half before. It all starts innocently enough with the Elves kicking off, Skaven collecting, Alan got injured, and the Wood Elves making a nuisance of themselves. The Skaven advance down the flank to around 6 squares short of the touchdown zone, but get a bit confused about who has the ball and don't leave it properly caged. A wardancer comes in and knocks the ball loose and some more elves come in to help. A bit of punching happens and then the Skaven fail a re-rolled 2D block (though Ernie had to be KO'ed) leaving the ball loose. The wardancer hops in, picks up the ball, runs forward, passes the ball through the Treeman (seriously, it went right through what passes for his head) to a lineman who just had to run in to score. Abom congratulates me on equalising, but just at the line the would-be scorer fails his GFI, and his re-roll! No worries, I have another player near the balll.... ah he's been stunned by some lightening. Doh.

So then! A gutter runner picks up the ball and survives a couple of attempts by me to get the ball loose. We'd used all our re-rolls by this point. He advances and finds some support, again fending off Wood Elf attempts to get the ball back... not helped by some terrible mis-clicking by me. A hand off and a runner is off to score... here he is, one square from scoring... and fails a GFI! Seriously.

The Wood Elves turn 15 and it doesn't look great for them, a lack of players near the ball which is sitting in their TD zone. Time for a Big Play. Eleri rolls four 2+ rolls to get to and pick up the ball and throws a massive hopeful pass to the half-way line. It's an inaccurate pass but bounces into the hands of a well-placed elf! (Seriously my last 3 inaccurate passes have bounced into my player's hands, it's stupid luck). With a dodge clear and a hand-off to a waiting elf a sensational end-to-end turn ends in... A FAILED GFI! ON THE LINE!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?!?!

The Skaven last turn, they pick the ball up and try and get in the way of Wood Elves lying in wait. With the last turn, the runner gets blitzed (after the frankly unbelievable event of a GFI being passed), with a 55% chance of getting the ball loose - but it doesn't happen. Another failed double 1 dodge just for fun ends the game 2-1 to the Skaven, long after the crowd had left as they had other things to do (we were the first game to start and I think 1 other person was left online when we had finished?!)

=======================

Dice - My D6 chance was 0.00! Not sure I've ever seen that before. Abom got -6.48. Abom got better armour rolls but I got better injury rolls, I don't think that really affected things too much, we were generally too busy running after the ball to hit people. The block dice as ever are difficult to analyse but pretty sure I had the better of them. I worked out the odds of us failing 11 of our 33 GFI's and it was a shade under 1%. Though feel free to ask why Abom attempted 23 GFI's, I was much more restrained with 10! All 3 failures of mine came when I was about to score!

Congrats to Abom for the win. He has improved for sure as he has gained experience. We both made mistakes - which helped make it such a spectacle - but he made less of them and the ones he made weren't as serious on the whole. As an example you can point to mistakes I made for both of Abom's TD whereas he was blameless regarding mine.

That second half though.... completely bonkers!

[Abomination]

Thanks for the recap, Gandalf, I've been a bit distracted!

I sincerely believe there were some explosive grease runes painted near the touchdown zones to prevent anyone from scoring.