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Raised by horrific evil magic the Pinewood Carrions are the decayed remains of an entertainment troupe that have brought their pratfalls and double entendres to Blood Bowl pitch. Be worried and whatever you do... don't call for Matron!

Halflings beat us 2-0. Didn't even manage to kill or maim them. Bah! Hya hya hya.

It wasn't impressive or pretty or even particularly well thought out but we scraped a 1-0 victory against the Underworld.

The Carrions received in the first half and started by surrounding the ball. Then came the risky manoeuvre, the pick up. That failed so they tried again in the second turn and got the ball in hand. The Carrions started grinding up the pitch hitting anything they could reach which wasn't much. The Underworld Warpstone troll got knocked out by a lucky block from a tomb guardian and a Skaven lineman got fouled out although the ref caught the Dirty Player skeleton in the act so it wasn't perfect. The carrions didn't want to give the Undercheesers any chance to score so stalled on the line to run the clock down. This nearly backfired as the Underworld started to break into the waiting cage despite one goblin failing to dodge two turns in a row. in the end though it was clear to step across the line in turn 8.

The Undercheesers had 1 last turn to try and score in the first half and the troll recovered to help. It was a desperate play, skaven handing off to goblin, troll running across, picking up the goblin, eating the goblin. Oh dear. Seems like the Troll thought it was morning and mistook the goblin for his breakfast snack.

The second half saw the Undercheesers collect the kicked ball and move down their right. The Carrions lumbered to intercept and were totally wrong footed when the speed of the Skaven allowed the Undercheesers to switch to the left. Sadly an overconfident move by the Skaven thrower carrying the ball left him exposed and the team coach in a rage. The Carrions reacted to this chance and a one die block saw the ball scatter out of bounds. The throw in suited the Carrions who got three Tomb Guardians around it. There ensued a scuffle for the ball that lasted the rest of the game. The Carrions had the best chance of getting the ball but couldn't control it. The underworld could use the ball better but had a harder time muscling their way up to it. in the end it came down to a block by a Skaven lineman against a Throw-Ra holding the ball. The dice came up push / both down. Neither allowed the Underworlds turn to continue with a loose ball and the game was effectively over.

Looking at the stats the dice were fairly even, although La rolled a lot more than me. It was a simple mistake that left the ball open to a Khemri block and that won the game for me in the end. 1-1 would have been fair and I wouldn't put it past them to score again if things had gone another way. That's the frustration of Blood Bowl though and it was certainly fun!

A spectacular win against the goblins. Lots of blood after a series of frankly horrific fouls and only 3 goblins were left standing when we scored in the last turn of the game.

The pouring rain made ball handling a tricky prospect. The goblins took the initiative in the first half and got the ball into a cage in the middle of the pitch. Our skeletons crowded the trolls to prevent a clear throw team mate opportunity whilst the rest of the team attacked anyone in our half. The goblins try the throw anyway but it fumbles. We lock our way in and the ball goes loose. After some heroic and unlikely rolls we get teh ball in hand and break up the pitch but to no avail as a goblin blitz gets the ball free again. The first half ends 0-0.

We receive in the second half and the ball lands in the middle of the proto cage. Our players crowd it and wait for the pickup. We start smacking the goblins about and fouling with wild abandon. The cage nearly stalled at mid pitch but the strength of the Tomb Guardians was enough to force a path through and once we were clear it was a simple matter to move to the endzone and camp on the line. The goblin bombardier had already nearly broken my cage so he had to go. A quick boot in whilst he was down and things were safe. In the end a goblin did break through but was unable to take down the ball carrier leaving the simple matter of a three die blitz to free up the ball carrier and allow him to step over the line.

Finally the goblins had a single turn but weren't able to make the hand off to their prospective throw team mate victim. Game over, 1-0 to the Khemri!

Not a great day. As expected the Elves ran it home happily. Sadly our caging in the first half wasn't watertight and once the Elves got in it was curtains for our offence. After that it was damage limitation (well infliction ) as the elves ran away and the Khemri got in a good few hits, and boots...

Madness prevailed when I tried to pick up, go for it and pass the ball for a SPP on a Blitz-Ra. This ended in a KO as the GFI failed

Wizards rule!

The Orcs chose to receive in the first half, obviously hoping to grind me down and stop me scoring in the second. The Khemri, having learnt their lessons for once, chose to defend deep, allowing the orcs to proceed up to the half way line from a deep kick. The Carrions boxed them in and a rogue wizard from the crowd fireballed into the cluster of Orcs, knocking out two of them and freeing up the ball. The Khemri got in and scrambled into range of the ball, but nobody could pick it up whilst orcs were also around. The orcs started pushing us away but some unlikely dodging and well timed knockdowns allowed my Throw-Ra, Kenhotep Connor, to get free with the ball and head up the pitch. Only a last minute charge by the Troll stood a chance of stopping the score, and he was so out of breath from the run that it was an easy block. 1-0 at half time.

The Carrions received in the second half and caged up deep in their own territory. A Quick snap result on the kick off allowed us to pull back our line-skeletons and we were able to grind up to the half way line with a skirmishing screen protecting the cage. Then it got messy. Lots of blocks and pushes. A couple of orcs went over the sidelines, never to be seen again but the Khemri advance had been halted. The Orcs blocked the ball carrying Throw-Ra and he tumbled to the ground. The spilled ball was immediately surrounded by the undead players but the Orcs were pushing hard. If anything they overextended themselve allowing Kenhotep Connor to pick up the ball again and race through an opening in the Orc lines. Only a lone blitzer stood between Kenhotep and glory. The blitz came in, both down, no use because both players are experienced blockers, a reroll is deployed... both down. It was a supported blitz by Kenhotep to push the Orc away and then he ran for the line. 2-0 at full time.

The dice were fairly even, we both had more both downs than we'd have chosen but apart from that it was even. Timing was everything though, I was getting pows exactly when I needed them, and Daigoro was getting both downs exactly when he didn't. The wizard totally won the game for me, removing two Orcs and freeing up the ball turned a likely orc TD into a Khemri one. After that I had no urgency as I attacked and got a second (this team's first ever second TD!) ecause I could, not because it was needed. I fun game after all the nuisance of getting started, thanks to Daigoro for being an excellent sport.

The Amazon ladies of SuchDodge made us wait. Whilst we're used to waiting, having spent 8000 years hanging about under a pyramid, we weren't going to accept it in this case.

We won the toss and kicked to the Amazons. They palyed a deep offensive line with two catchers diving forwards to receive a potential pass. The tone of the game was set when star skeleton fouler, Grisley Phillips stamped on a prone Linewoman's neck "accidentally" and killed her outright. The SuchDodge attack came in slowly down my left and hit the meat grinder of the Tomb Guardian line. The Amazons bunched up at the sidelines and found themselves boxed in after a few pushes by the Khemri team. At this point the Wizard reared his head again. a fireball came sailing in from the sidelines knocking 4 players prone and scattering the ball. We retrieved the ball and kept hitting and fouling , each time reducing the Amazon numbers. Caught on the sidelines the amazons found themselves tipped into the crowd. The Carrions made their way up the pitch, confident of a first half touchdown. Sadly, the confidence was misplaced and the Amazons were able to blitz in and knock the ball free. After splattering the offending player into the ground the Khemri tried an audacious pick up, hand off, dodge and two GFIs to score. All went well until the first GFI which failed. Ah well. End of first half 0-0.

The second half started 7 Amazons to 10 Khemri. It didn't end that way. The ball came in and was gathered up whilst we did some more hitting. We ground up the right of the pitch, but again overconfidence left the ball carrier exposed to a risky blitz. The ball came free and the Amazon blitzer scooped it up. Unfortunately for her she was on the sideline. Off she went and the ball went with her. The throw in landed deep in Carrions territory but a long way back. This was going to need a sprint. The ball was gathered up and the 5 remaining Amazons were screened back from it. Again we pounded up the pitch and hit everything we could. More liberal fouling removed more Amazons until there was only a single SuchDodge player on the pitch. She, quite justifiably ran the hell away. We stomped over the line in turn 16 for a 1-0 victory. SuchDodge lined up for a final turn blow-out but managed to roll quad skulls and fall over.

Once again the wizard was key to the win. Timing is everything, although I was disappointed to not remove a single amazon with the fireball, knocking all 4 down was just as good. I was stupid not to score in the first half but I got carried away with smashing the Amazons and left gaps in my cage allowing a blitz in. The same happened in the second half but realistically the Amazons were too outnumbered to make a play by this stage and things only got worse for them. Ident played well but ended up rollign too many dodge rolls and I had excellent armour dice. All good fun (for me )

Sleepy now, so this'll be quick.

First half we kicked but, after a thrown rock injured a snotling before the ball had even touched down, turned the Ogres over at least in party because of a wrong guess about the rules - it seems that even if you're still on your feet, of you're pushed onto the ball you don't get a chance to pick it up. I ended up with the scattering ball and did my best to leg it upfield. Ogres are effective road blocks and blitzers and snotlings with sidestep are a bloody nuisance. At the end an ogre block wasn't enough to take the ball carrier down but it did make scoring impossible. I need to watch that in future as I keep ending up just a bit too far from the endzone.

In the second half we received and got well clear up the left. A rash of bonehead allowed me to cage up deep in the Ogres half but as they came at me I lost my nerve and ran the ball home. I think this was when a snot was killed by an overenthusiastic TTM attempt, yet another bit of the bad luck that plagued the ogres for this drive.

Luckily the kick off went short and bounced loose to the side of the diminished Ogre formation. I was able to dive in a grab it and pass it safe. After that a sprint up the pitch gained a second TD. I didn't injure nearly enough Snotlings, but my policy of fouling wherever possible paid off again and reduced the threat of the Ogres, even a stunned ogre isn't currently punching you in the face! I had phenominally good luck with my pick ups and passes which bordered on the insane but each time I risked it I had a reasonable defence in mind. I've learnt that with Khemri you need to plan to fail so I try to cover the ball before touching it.

Gandalf had some horrible dice which made life a lot easier for my first TD, and the second was a pure blessing from nuffle as this team can't be expected to pick up, pass and catch with no skills and succeed.

I was slightly hampered by the two skeletons I bought after the last game vanishing into the warp before kick-off. I must remember to check my roster before I play to make sure that purchased players have registered with the servers.

The Chaos did an excellent job of breaking up our formation and stopping us from controlling the pitch. There was constant pressure on the ball when we had it in hand and nowhere to move.

They were lucky to score their first but the second was a solid play. The threat of the wizard was enough to keep the chaos team from forming a tight cage and in the end a lightning bolt to the ball carrier failed.

A third touchdown sealed the day. On the plus side a second Tomb Guardian levelled up and rolled a double so Kenhotep Williams has Block now...

Raveen wrote:
I was slightly hampered by the two skeletons I bought after the last game vanishing into the warp before kick-off. I must remember to check my roster before I play to make sure that purchased players have registered with the servers.

This happened to me with the Kroxigor I bought for the Lizardmen. For some reason he just wasn't there next game.

God knows why. Unlucky, and good game

In all honesty I don't think that a single extra skellie would have helped. The star player gave me the depth I wanted but it just never came together for me.

We'll meet again and I'm due to win the next one

Placeholder for the game vs the Orcs

A much better performance after last week's shambles. We started by kicking deep into the Undead backfield and started bashing away. A foul on a downed mummy resulted in a stun and a sending off and a little later a Tomb Guardian got KOd. The Undead cage came at our right field but we were able to crack it open and knock the ball free. A dodge to pick up failed but the Undead were all tied up. The next turn the Blitz-Ra tried the pickup, succeeded and ran for the line. The Tomb Army's wizard had a lightning bolt to spare and halted his progress. But we were able to get our two Thro-Ras to the ball and eventually they got it home.

In the second half it started raining. A -1 to pick up is murder to a Khemri team so I was glad we were 1 up already. The ball was kicked high but obviously we couldn't catch it. A Throw-Ra attempted the pick up and succeeded. This came as something of a surprise and I wasn't quite sure what to do next. A loose cage at centre field was teh best I could think of. It was a simple march down the pitch to score again.

We kicked off and the ball landed on the half way line but not before a riot let the game run on a turn. An unluck 1D block to free the ball ended the Undead turn early allowing me to cage and pick up. We were able to get down the right flank but I wasn't watching the clock so we didn't quite get the ball over the line a third time (it would have required a hand off and GFIs so wasn't likely anyway).

The Undead finally get a bit of blocking luck in the closing moments but no harm is done.

Season two is rolling at last.

A really solid game this one. Lots of tactical positional play on both sides. if I could play like this all the time I'd be very happy.

I elected to kick in the first half and the Underworld approached my left flank. After drawing my players to that side they switched the play to the right. Given the chance to possibly slow the TD or foul a ST 4 Skaven, I decided to foul the abomination who got badly hurt but was apothecaried back into the game. The Underworld ran it home to make it 1-0.

I received with 3 turns left. I went for a risky play of passing to a blitz-ra and running the ball without a cage. A solid blitz by two Skaven saw the end of that move and the half ended with a bit of a fight.

In the second I received and caged up on my left. Matching the first half I switched direction but the Underworld are far better at reacting than my Khemri so it didn't put them too far out of position. We marched up the right and bashed a route through in spite of numerous attempts by the Troll to lob a Goblin into my formation. We scored with 2 turns remaining.

A riot put the clock back making an Underworld TD more likely (as an aside, although I won the dice, the kick off results all went against me ) they came down the right this time, hard against the edge of the pitch. Unfortunately they miscalculated and I was able to get a 1D block to send the ball carrier off the pitch. The ball was thrown in and landed in my end zone. I could cover it but I decided not to risk a desperate pick up, pass and run with no skills or rerolls - the ball was relatively safe where it was and a fumbled pass would have been fatal. La was unable to get at the ball in the end and the game ended 1-1.

Really well played by La and a really good game. Could have gone either way but I think a draw was fair to both sides in the end.

Whilst we're between games here's my thoughts on Khemri so far.

Tomb Guardians - slow as anything to level up aren't they? ST 5 is good but it's not everything. Once you get MB they start rolling but those first 6 SPPs are luck. Interestingly it seems (sample size of 1 people ) that block is as good for getting SPPs on these guys as MB. Maybe that's because I feed more blocks to Kenhotep than the skill less ones?

Blitz-Ras - You need all the speed you can get on this team and the BRs do that a bit. I like to send one roving and the other is building into a killer. Essential to the team but easily bogged down.

Throw-Ras - Die easily. Still, AG 2 with SH is not as bad as you'd think. So long as you plan to fail at least.

Skeletons - I've played Necro and I'd say Skellies are better than Zombies for being a bit more mobile. If I were playing Undead I'd want 1 or 2 Zeds to tie up big nuisances and the rest Skellies to move about a bit and foul a lot.