Rolling Thunder BBL Season 7: The Parma Violence Cup

[lawastooshort]

I am running 15 minutes late, sorry Moose

[id3nt1ty]

It's ok, we're still waiting for Bumberklaart to sign up, and then it'll probably take me at least 15 minutes to figure out how to actually get the cup set up...

[Red Lion Three]

Amazons get through. It could have gone either way.

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This was a close game. First half, the Amazons received, picked up and slowly moved up the right. The Fables defence looked good - until a ghoul attempted a 2D block and double-skulled in the centre of the park. This left a hole in the line big enough for half the Amazons to run through without needing to dodge. Injury was added to insult when an Amazon threw an arm at the werewolf Boy Blue, who was chasing back in from the wing, knocking him out of the game. The Amazons stalled out the rest of the half before scoring in turn 8.

Second half, id picked up and brought the ball up near the front lines, the ball carrier going from side to side "probing for a weakness" as they say on Cabalvision. It got dangerously near the end of the half before the Fables' captain remembered that his ball carrier was actually a really, really good player. The Amazon left side being empty, the ball carrier flew down the wing - a couple of Zons tried to get in the way, but after one injured himself in a 2D-against block the ball carrier Blitzer the other and ran over to equalise in turn 16. Cheers from the crowd and extra time!

The kick went long and the ball was touched back to an Amazon catcher. More side-to-side stuff ensued until a half-chance opened up on the left. A ghoul got through to the ball carrier, but things didn't break id's way and in the end the Amazons had just enough players available to cover the danger. The Amazon catcher broke through and stole up the wing and I thought he was clear, only for him to be brought crashing to the ground 4 or 5 squares short. Unfortunately for id it was a both-downing, and the Amazons were able to react first, pick up and score in turn 23. id usefully farmed SPP for a turn, and then it was all over.

A good game. The write-up doesn't reflect the number of turns that ended attacker down or both down; id suffered the most from this, getting red dice when it mattered (e.g. creating the hole in the first half). D6 were marginally in my favour, block dice more heavily.

[lawastooshort]

I think that's me 4-0 on the predictions! Yeah! And possibly the last outing for the Mighty Undercheesers.

2-1 to the Undead after 32 turns

[Gandalf]

Poncing around waiting to score my 2nd TD nearly costs the wood elves the game as the orcs got the ball and scored in turn 16. It went into overtime whereupon the wood elves finally got their second TD and the win.

Wardancer got a niggle, re-rolled into badly hurt (ofc). Star thrower and kicker set to miss semi-final. Possible bug re: piling on discovered as well! Further details to come.



Pre-game - Daigaro takes Varag and a wizard.

First half - Orcs win kick-off, choose to recieve. They caged it up and started movin, and injuring 1 or 2. The Wood elves created a bit of a blockage in the middle of the pitch; I blitzed one corner off the cage. An attempt to knock the treeman ended with a red skull rerolled into a push (no effect due to Stand Firm), and the very next roll was a failed dodge. With no re-roll available I had a clear hit on the ball carrier. The dump-off was not caught so I picked it up and got a few players between me and the ball. The Orc's next turn was just horrible, it ended with a double 1 failed GFI followed by a lightening bolt on the ball carrier which failed (another 1). I stalled out to score on turn 8 and managed to avoid more than the 2(?) injuries I had suffered that far. The stall also meant the KO'ed orc only had one chance to come back, which he failed.

Second half - I received and had a little conflab at the back of the pitch about pacifism. When the Orcs started coming downfield I quickly moved the ball upfield. I then tried dancing around near the endzone to stall (to decrease the orc's chances of winning plus increase the expected lifespan of my players) but that didn't work and the Orcs got the ball back at around turn 11. Now the luck from the first half started to turn as they got it up towards the mass of players in the middle of the pitch and managed to cage it up. My ball sackers had two decent chances to get the ball loose (because of their insane skill sets) but failed them both... and the Orcs equalized on turn 16. Not much in the way of injuries this half - both sides were busier playing the ball (crazy eh), I lost a third player and injured Percy, but he regenerated. Turn 13 a wardancer got a niggle but following the theme of the season it was apoth'ed into badly hurt so was back for overtime.

Overtime - I received, seeing the 4 columns that would make dodging hard I instead clobbered his front line and made the centre of the pitch, slightly in his half, my own. Next turn I threw it to a catcher who was in there, who could score if he made 2 GFI's (with sure feet) and she did. 2-1 But the Orcs still had 3 turns, an equalizer was possible. Without my elf Kicker I flukily managed to kick the ball right to his endzone. Pirlorc picked it up and was presumably going to hand off to another orc, but a couple of fast elves took him to the floor, so with 2 turns left PirlOrc attempted a long bomb pass into my half, but failed (55% chance of success... could've gone either way) and fumbled it instead. I failed with a 88.88% chance pickup but the ball was left within 2 tackle zones, with 1 turn left the Orcs could not achieve the miraculous and it ended 2-1 to the Wood Elves.

Luck
I thought the D6 would be heavily in my favour but in the end it was only marginal. My failed ball-sackings in the second half brought my D6 chance back to near 0. We both had good armour breaks and average injuries. The block dice were a bit of a landslide in my favour. The oprcs seemed to go through long periods of red skulls and pushes. Gertrude had 9 blocks, all 2 dice, all showing at least one yellow die! Even with this the Orc blocking dice ended up being subpar.
I won 3 of the 4 kickoffs (perfect defence and 2 extra re-rolls), I can't remember the 4th.

[Raveen]

It was inevitable really but I gave the rats a good few scares

I had two potential touchdowns which I was just 1 square too far to get (a scattered 1TTD and an audacious sacking of the Skaven quarterback in the second half where I just couldn't get over the line). I can't complain though because I got a lot of lucky dice rolls, particularly on that backfield sacking which required stupid amounts of dodge rolling.

Abom got the better of the injuries, causing key injuries in the first half whereas I caused mine in the second and then mostly when Abom was stalling and I couldn't get to the ball.

Thank almighty Nuffle that I can retire these halfwits.

[lawastooshort]

Oh yeah, I forgot it doesn't show the overtime stats - which is why our report doesn't show that at one point I had 7 brave undercheesers in the KO box...

[Gandalf]

Oh yeah, I forgot it doesn't show the overtime stats - which is why our report doesn't show that at one point I had 7 brave undercheesers in the KO box...

Hmmm I didn't know that. Interesting. Stuff from the log file though is included I presume, hence the absurd block count in the Fables - Brave Harts game.

Anyhows my post is updated with omre details. All 4 matches finished 2-1 in overtime I think.

[Abomination]

I'll try to post my own recap of the halfling/skaven game later in the week. Good write-up, Rav.

In case I don't, here's my summary: those little buggers had me sweating! Also makes me appreciate the gobbos' armor values and movement a lot more.

[id3nt1ty]

Well, the results are in and I think they show that we are a pretty closely matched bunch. It sounds like everyone won or lost by the skin of their teeth! I've validated the last remaining game (Moose and la played 32 turns!) so it's time for the Semi-finals:

Game 1:
Everglade Wanderers vs The 13th Doomwheel

Game 2:
A Fistful of Boomstick vs The Brave Harts

I honestly don't know which match I want to watch!

[Gandalf]

Congrats id on getting the seeding right, ably assisted by Rav. Sounded like quite an ordeal. And well done on everyone staying up late to finish their matches, some people were flagging by the end...

So of the two semi-finals, one features two teams who have won 6 or 7 of their last 8 and the other features two teams who have both won 1 of their last 8! So they should both be close encounters. I know which one I'll be watching though.

[Red Lion Three]

Amazons through in snowy weather.

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Jim: Well here we are for another week of Ski(-nned Alive) Sunday, Bob!

Bob: That's right, Jim. The flakes are falling thicker than a troll doing sums. But, really, they're very pretty. I've never stopped to think about it before. Each flake differing from each other flake in a finite variety, as if they were cut out of a set of patterns and wafted across the pitch in front of us. They're really beautiful.

Jim: [Errr...]

Bob: I've often thought they could do they same on the summer pitches with rose petals. It would be so lovely. Just like that kind Master Percival I met in the hospitality tent before the game. Really, you should try his chrysanthemum tea. Its very light and refreshing.

Jim: [Umm...]

Bob: I would also recommend his new book on metaphysics, its... [microphone-disconnection sound. Jim still talking, in raptures, in the background.]

Jim: My heartiest apologies, sports fans. Clearly Bob has suffered some kind of mummy-induced head injury while watching the Boomstick warm-up. We can only hope for a swift recovery or swifter execution. Now on to the game! The Boomstick come into this one as the underdog. With only a season's experience, their lack of tackling skills may come back to haunt them against the agile Amazons. But rumour has it they have illicit wizard help somewhere in the stands. As long as it isn't that guy who's poisoned Bob with the flower-water we should be in for a good match.

Bob: And the ball goes skyward! Amazons kick deep into the Undead half. The Mummies in the front line are wasting no time trying to play the ball and are clattering the ladies' front line. Now a Zombie's having a go. But he's gone down! [Moose double-double-skulls in turn 1. Crikey.] The ladies have done a bit of shoving themselves, but by and large seem content to stand still and see if any more of the Undead seek to return themselves to their graves.
Now here's the pick-up. Well, there would be the pick-up. Oh-dear, oh-dear me no! [Moose's second turn also turns red.] Are the Amazon's going to try and take advantage? No, again they're just standing there waiting. This is a pathetic spectacle. We can only hope for an injury. And here it is! Ash Williams (mummy) goes in high and Irma Nator looks to be in some discomfort. Now that is what we like to see. The Amazon nurse is on the field now... nervous times for the spectators. Oh dear... she's getting up and standing on the side, waiting for the ref to wave her back on.
Play is back underway. The Undead are bringing the ball into mid-field, and a super-cage is forming. The Amazons seem content just to get in the way and try and stall the cage in midfield. That sort of thing belongs on the chess pitch, not our glorious turf. Lets hope the Undead are able to get the ball wide and run it in for a score... Oh no, oh no. The Amazons are going round the back. Their catcher has gone deep. It looks like they're going to try and sack the Undead carrier and pass it up for a score. Well, they've pulled it off with the last move of the half. I can't say I like the way the Amazons have played this half, Bob. The mummies are much more to my taste. But I suppose that move was nicely thought out.

Bob: [microphone reconnection attempted] I thought it was a great move Jim. Just like the move I made on my settee, taking it out into the conservatory. Percy says that combining the light colours of the soft fabric with the presence of pot plants, and opening the window to allow in a gentle breeze, should have a very calming effect. As to the furnishings in my study... [ripping wiring, and defenestration of the microphone.]

Jim: Clearly Bob won't be playing the second half. Speaking of which, the snow is stopping and blinding sunshine is coming through the clouds. The Amazons have already snagged the kick, which went deep to their left, and seem to be moving towards the Undead right. It seems like they are leaving the mummies to fight with their wily Pro in the centre of the park, and overloading on the skeleton winger.
Yes, the rumours were true! A fireball is coming through the clouds. The ball carrier is looking nervously upward. Her honour guard have gone down, but she's still on her feet! The right-wing grind continues. It looks like the Amazons' massed blodge and dockle (dodge-tackle anyone?) is going to get through.
...Well, I admire his bravery, but for a skeleton to dodge into 3 tackle zones to tackle the ball carrier is asking a lot. And he's put himself back in the dug-out. Oh dear!
And there it is. 2-0, with only four or five turns to play... wait, the Undead have got through with the ball, and are sprinting for the line! Oh no, covering defenders have made up the ground. And 2-0 it finishes. Good night sports fans, and here's wishing Bob a speedy recovery!

***

It was a bit like chess at times! Not a great spectacle. The dice were heavily in the Zons favour. Zons had far better D6 (+14 v +6) and 2D6 (+17 to +1), block success percentage (61% to 22%), and the Zons had [19/78-pows, 10/78 skulls] to the Undead [8/75 Pows, 17/75 skulls]. Oh, and the Undead rolled a mountain of push-defenderStumbles, which is no good against Amazons. So, really, things were heavily weighted towards the Amazons.

Thanks for the game Moose! I hope there was some fun in it. Without tackle it was a difficult match-up - much like the Amazon v Tackle cup final was difficult for the Amazons last year.

[Abomination]

I feel like a dirty, dirty rat. >_>

[Gandalf]

Abom wins 2-1. 2 key moments of the game by both player's admission:
- Bug in client (not a mis-click) means Gandalf misses a whole turn. It's decided by all that we should carry on... it was too near the end of the half for Abom to skip a turn to to level it up.
- At the start of the second half, sweltering heat knocks out 5 of my players and 0 of Abom's, leading to the Skaven receiving with 11 players v 7.

Outside of those things it was a fun exciting game. Due to the bug & sweltering heat, I can't say "good game" but I do say "well played" to Abom Hope the final has less things go wrong with it

[Abomination]

Gandalf wins coin, chooses to receive. Skaven do a defense formation and kick it close to the half in the hopes of a cheesy kick-off event where Skanilla Ice, their Big Hands Gutter Runner, could shine. Nothing cheesy happens. Elves grab the ball and scamper quickly down the defenseless field. Skaven mark everyone pretty well but elf agility nonsense leads to a few decent blocks, some easy dodges (I think a leap?) and an easy score. 1-0 for the Wood Elves!

The rats now get the ball and don't do much with it. They leave some lines open, improperly caging, inviting the wood elves to loosen the ball. The elves loosen the ball and it's looking like they might secure it on their turn, given their high amount of skills, agi4 and agi5. Starscream the II, team leader, looks to the 13th Doomwheel's coach in confusion, making a puzzling duck face under which he was hiding his fear and disappointment. It is at this point that the Doomwheel's wizard comes into play.


By putting Skanilla Ice in this contraption, the 13th Doomwheel was able to both stop time and improve kitchen cleanliness by 235%.

A desperate fireball is launched by Lucius the Pyromancer. It's not even aimed at the right square on the pitch. Fortunately for the rats, Skanilla Ice was nearby, a quasi-bullshit being who had become unstuck in time by bathing in a hyperbolic time plunger chamber earlier. This affected the spell and therefore game, for the fireball was retrocasted into a whole different spell: Schroedinger's Fireball, a spell that was both cast and not cast at the 00:00 mark of the turn. Time Stop! How the wizard got this knowledge, we shall never know, but it is suspected the Doomwheel coach bribed a demon known as "Cyanide" before the game to swap spellbooks with the fiery man.

The results? The wood elves stand with their thumbs in their mouths, wondering how a gutter-nobody had discovered the secret of 9th-level spellcasting, something not even the High Elves cousins had been able to achieve.

Most other teams wouldn't be able to do much with the bonus turn other than advance the ball a bit, but Skanilla Ice was built precisely for this kind of advantage, what with his Sure Hands. Him, or some other Gutter grabs the ball and it's 1-1, tied

Gandalf has a turn to score but doesn't manage a feasible OTT.

HALFTIME


Everyone said not to hire Lucius the Pyromancer, but Starscream the II said we shouldn't judge a man by the contents of his head, or lack thereof. In response to accusations of chronomancers rigging the game, "All those bad-bad complaint-complaints were just a bunch of hothot air," a reporter quotes.

The rats receive and... Sweltering Heat comes into play, for Lucius' powers had been greatly multiplied by the chaos of the space-time continuum, fueling his Warp Magicks. Something like 5 of the wood elves get put out of commission for the drive... and suspiciously 0 of the rats were.

Most of the half then consists of the Doomwheel forming a cage and knocking wood elves around, trying to stall to assure a boring 2-1 result and hoping no Leap silliness happens. This works very well. Copious amounts of Guard on the Skaven team (made possible by the coach's inducement magic: who needs players when you have mercenaries?! said no one ever...) erased some of his mistakes, making the Leap difficult. The Everglade's rerolls quickly turn to 0. The Doomwheel score round turn 13 or 14. 2-1 for the rats!

The wood elves make a run for it in the last drive. It's honestly very hard to stop them from scoring, especially given that the Doomwheel have little to no tackle. They make a good attempt, but it's likely going to need at least a medium or long pass without some brilliant running plays... The pass comes! But the sweltering heat had been doused by rain of the Anti-Bullshit Committee of wizards (ABC). The catch fails! Then it bounces into the hands of a double-marked elf, failing again, and eventually rolling it right by Skanilla Ice.

Skanilla Ice skates in and grabs the ball (Big Hand) from under everyone and then throws it at a butterfly on the other side of the field, effectively ending the game.

Well played, Gandalf! But your powers over time could not defeat my chronomancy today.