Season 4 - League Champions - The Mighty Undercheesers

[DaigaroOgami]

Right well then, I'll take it upon myself to do the Ducklingz - Tomb Army write up...

And what an amazing, scintillating, match-to-be-remembered-for-all-time...

I can't do it, I can't lie to you guys. PirlOrc would find out and he wouldn't be pleased. PirlOrc did ask me to tell you how disgusted he was with the cuddle-fest he had to (mostly) spectate last evening, and also wanted me to say that any 1's rolled were never attributed to him (naturally) and that it was only because of him that the Ducklingz could a) actually pick the ball up and b) do something bordering on productive with it.

out of a combined 151 Blocks from both teams we had ZERO casulaties. I think a goblin got knocked out right at the end of the match. I figure Percy got Mega-shroom Painkillers for his shattered jaw, and instead of taking them himself he sold them to both teams as Mega-Shroom power ups... Sadly, they turned out to be the equivalent of laughing gas, so most of the time if someone fell/got tickled over no armour ever got broke, maybe occasionally the player was laughing so hard he decided not to stand up for a turn.

What that translates to is the ball never making it over 4 squares from the halfway line; and a turgid mess of 22 players lobbing tackle zones everywhere - both teams focusing on ball protection and not being able to move it anywhere.

In the 2nd half the Ducklingz had a chance to get the ball out to Gurtrude who was open and unmarked on the right flank, but I managed to rolled FOUR 1's on the trot; a re-rolled GFI to get an assist in position before making the pass - then turnover - then next turn going for the pass straight away, re-rolling a fumble, and then fumbling again. (PirlOrc would like it to be know this WASN'T him - in fact at this point PirlOrc almost walked off the pitch in disgust) I think the ball bounced around most of each team before a Wight got bored of watching Volleyball and held onto it until the end of the match, even enticing a Mummy to dodge to stand next to him.

Temmop tried to do his best to do the league a favour by first gang attacking Leroy and then gang fouling the bugger - luckily for you guys the dead things were still under the influence of mega-shrooms and all they could do was tickle the brute.

I think we got 6/20 for match rating - it wasn't a classic, but I'll take a clean sheet, and I'm sure Temmop is more than happy with his first points of the season to lift him from the foot of the table.

Percy is back next week, hopefully he'd have sold/ingested all the mega-shrooms by then, otherwise next week's Beers Vs 'Shrooms match is gonna get messy...

[Gandalf]

Matchday 3 roundup

Scores are off the top of my head, yell if I'm wrong...
(This is not a substitute for writing proper match reports!)

Eballa 3-0 Brewers Brawlers
Nurgle get their first points of the season, the dwarves still waiting for theirs.

Everglade Wanderers 3-0 Fables (match report coming this evening)
A scoreline which flattered the Elves moves them clear at the top of the league.

Orkly Ducklingz 0-0 The Tomb Army (match report just prior to this post)
The undead are off the mark, in a bash-tastic game which saw the ball barely move.

Pinewood Carrions 1-1 Mighty Undercheesers match report
Hitters vs. dodgers was a good close game in which a draw was a fair result.

Stagocalypse 1-1 Cangurus match report
Weather-affected ball handling limited scoring chances (39% of game was no-one in possession), the stags grabbing a late equalizer to stay 2nd in the league.

[DaigaroOgami]

For those that like proper pictures and not the mutterings of an Orc coach who's patience is being severely tested by Nuffle...

[Raveen]

Guilt Tripping as a Motivational Tool - Now available from Commissioner Raveen and all slightly suspect bookshops.

[Gandalf]

It's late at night to post, I think it's what a lot of us spend Monday lunchtime doing :p I've written 80% of mine.

Daigro's screenshot indicates 86 attempted blocks, a bit more believable than 151 mentioned in the report (getting to 3 figures is rare).

Seems that the tomb army did well to hang on despite suffering 4 turnovers.

[Raveen]

That's probably 151 block dice rolled in 86 blocks.

I've just looked at the schedule (and I wasn't the only one judging by the Mink and Axolotl icons (it's a weird google thing...)) and who the hell said I have to play the Elves for my last two games? Screw that! I demand to see the person in charge, this is an outrage!

[DaigaroOgami]

What Rav said - 151 dice block dice rolled.

Sorry to mislead you Gandalf.

[Gandalf]

Inducements - ident brings along a few mercenaries with some extra skills, a wizard and a bribe. I think that was it.

I kick off. Id3nt forgets he is receiving when arranging his players. Fails to pick ball up after two attempts.
A wardancer dives in, fails to retrieve the ball.
He gets hit around, but due to side-step and dodge, survives 6 block dice(!) and is still next to the ball carrier. He then gets surrounded, however some tactical-pushing and some elvish skills result in the ball going loose, a pickup, pass and touchdown.
I kick off again. Wardancer gets fouled, but id3nt rolls a 1 on his bribe so has a player sent off. Can't remember much more from the first half - I had a very long shot to get a TD on the last turn but I ran out of time to click everything I wanted.

Second half, I received. I lost the ball, retrieved it with 2 wardancers, one of whom threw it cross-field but it was intercepted! Then there was a few crazy turns (see play of the day), after which I subsequently scored.
I kick off, high kick, failed catch (rolled a 1). He then tries to pick the ball up, failed (rolled a 1). I roll 11 dodge D6's, a leap, a pickup and 2 GFI's to get the ball and some support. He gets 2 players onto Wall Prancer the ball carrier but can't get the ball free. Wall Prancer then leaps out of there (3+) and scores the 3rd TD.
With 2 turns left for id3nt and 1 for me, there is not time to score another TD, I do however cause a freak injury on one of the necromantic players - I rolled both down/pushed as the time ran out - game chooses both down and it injures him(!!!).

I think 3-0 was harsh on the necromantic team - they had all the truly unlucky moments. My (rare) failed rolls tended to be as a result of trying something crazy.
- failing to pick ball up at start (in 2 attempts)
- failing to pick ball up prior to the 3rd touchdown (in 2 attempts)
- having a player sent off despite having a bribe. He had 2 or 3 spare but the sent-off player was one of the better ones
- all injuries sustained by elves were KO's
- One of my turns nearly ended prematurely with some bad block rolls by my treeman - but I rerolled them just fine after passing a loner roll
- having AV 8 and AV 9 doesn't help much when the elves threw 10 on 10 out of their 38 dice rolls (1 in 11 chance) - wood elves won the injury battle 2-0(!!!)

Play of the Day illustrates the team's philosophy perfectly. High-risk high-reward stuff. I had an epic turn as my wardancers got the ball, one of them tried a long pass into space but it was intercepted. Then the warewolf ran towards the line with the ball, but I managed to blitz them, get the ball loose (13 x D6 and 2 blocks in a turn), protect the carrier, then on my next turn launched a pass upfield & scored myself.

My lv1 catcher levelled up, will probably give him block. I now have 6 players between 20 and 23 XP - it's a long way to get to 31...

[id3nt1ty]

Can't remember much more from the first half - I had a very long shot to get a TD on the last turn but I ran out of time to click everything I wanted.

Let me fill you in...

After a combination of bad positioning during my set up, and pretty bad luck on blitzing and pick up rolls I knew I had to some ground to make up. I set up aggressively, blitzed Ernie and managed to knock him down. This time I managed to pick up the ball on the first try, and had a reasonable screen of players to make my drive with. In a classic display of Wood Elf arrogance, Wall Prancer decides that she can take on the ball carrier single handed. She leaps over the screen of zombies and dodges past Wilhelm, only to fall flat on her face on a simple go for it. Never wanting to miss an opportunity to kick an elf whilst she's down, six of the Fables gather around to help the Fairy Godmother get the boot in. Due to her age, Fairy Godmother only managed to inflict a KO and sadly the stupid, elf-loving virtuous ref wasn't in a bribing mood so he sent her off to think about what she'd done.

A bit of bashing ensues whilst each team makes an incursion into opposite sides of the pitch. Wilhelm Grimm (one of the Grimm Brothers Flesh Golems) blitzes an elf to make room for Bigby Wolf and just as the Wood Elves are about to start their defense, a Fables Ultra Fan rouge member of the crowd throws a lightning bolt to try and take out the other War Dancer. Sadly, she was only stunned but that still meant it was down to Ethelun to try and save the day. At this point Pebblebeetle, the Fables mercenary Ghoul, has manage to run the ball into the elven half behind a defensive screen of zombies, a wight and a flesh golem. Ethelun has to dodge through the defensive screen (which he manages) and re-rolls his one dice block on Pebblebeetle, tackling him to the ground and inflicting a Serious Concussion. The ball bounces free but stays well behind the Fables screen. Fongolfin the line elf makes a desperate dash for the ball, but in a rare show of clumsiness he stumbles a go for it and stuns himself.

Having been enraged by watching Ethelun dance past him and tackle Pebblebeetle, Wilhem Grimm blitzes the line-elf and manages to KO him. That'll show him! The clock is ticking down the last seconds of the half, so Lorlag Mingan decides to stop lapping the War Dancer blood off the pitch and makes a dash for the ball. He rolls a six for the pick up, and succeeds a pair of go-for-its by the skin of his (very long) teeth but the sun glares in his eyes and he fumbles the pass to Bigby. With the ball marked by a pair of werewolves, the elves try to bash at the Fables a bit and the first half ends 1-0 to the pesky Wood Elves.

***

It took Gandalf at least four turns to score in the second half, which I was pretty happy about. And I very nearly scored in the second half too but Gandalf made good use of leap to get around my tackle zones.

All in all, the game wasn't nearly as one-sided as Gandalf made out - especially the play of the day which included a good aggressive defense from the Fables and a mad dash for the touchline (not just some crazy, lucky Elf Ball). A few more skills for my players and slightly better luck with the block dice and I think you would have had a real fight on your hands.

[Gandalf]

Thanks for filling in the gaps.

In a classic display of Wood Elf arrogance, Wall Prancer decides that she can take on the ball carrier single handed. She leaps over the screen of zombies and dodges past Wilhelm, only to fall flat on her face on a simple go for it.

Yes, I failed the re-roll too. Statistically I should get one or two double-ones a game and I couldn't think of one in our game, but there was at least this one. So far this season it feels games can turn on when exactly the double-ones come along, thankfully for me this wasn't a crucial moment.

With the ball marked by a pair of werewolves, the elves try to bash at the Fables a bit and the first half ends 1-0 to the pesky Wood Elves.

There was only 1, or zero tackle zones on the ball. As I said in my report, I had a small chance to grab it & throw it for a TD but ran out of time. Soooo much indecision.

All in all, the game wasn't nearly as one-sided as Gandalf made out..... A few more skills for my players and slightly better luck with the block dice and I think you would have had a real fight on your hands.

Sorry if you felt the report was biased - I tried to make it clear that the scoreline flattered me and that you were unlucky on many occasions.

[DaigaroOgami]

May I direct y'all over here:

http://rtsquad.matchfire.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=314&p=6186#p6186

David Bowie & Percy (finally) finished their statistically analysis of Season 3....

[andy]

Right guys I'm definitely not going to be able to participate this weekend thanks to the whole moving house kerfuffle. A bit annoying because it would be nice to try and get some momentum after the non-loss last week, but what can you do.

I think I'm meant to be playing against Cangurus.

I'm hoping to be able to get back on the wagon ASAP so can't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to join in again for gameweek 5 on November 9th.

[Raveen]

Thanks for letting us know, good luck with the move!

[notjarvis]

And it's no problem at all.

One of the oldest of oldest RT rules is Real Life comes first :-)

Good luck with the move.

[Gandalf]

Right guys I'm definitely not going to be able to participate this weekend thanks to the whole moving house kerfuffle. A bit annoying because it would be nice to try and get some momentum after the non-loss last week, but what can you do.

I think I'm meant to be playing against Cangurus.

I'm hoping to be able to get back on the wagon ASAP so can't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to join in again for gameweek 5 on November 9th.

Everyone's moving house! Hope it all goes well. As others have said, it's no problem.

You should play your catch-up game with Cangurus in catch-up week (30th Nov), or if you can arrange a time with him, any point before that.