I'm not sure we quite matched your game for silly craziness, but we did try, and at the very least I can say we had more touchdowns in our game.
I kicked off, some stuff happened, I honestly can't remember as it was so long ago. Notjarvis scored somewhere around turn 3 or 4.
I receieved, and took a couple of turns to pick up the ball whilst trying to hold off the on-rushing skinks, whilst my ogres set about inflicting extreme justice on the sauruses. Once I finally got my hands on the ball, I was a bit exposed and decided to chuck it to my mob of ogres near the centre spot, but it was a terrible throw. Some more punching happened but the skinks picked up the ball and scored on turn 8 to make it 2-0.
I had one turn left before half time and hit some lizards. I also tried to score a 1 turn touchdown. It looked on for a long while, I managed to get the ball to the snotling in question, and the throw from the ogre went far enough, but could the snotling land on his feet? No! Not even with a re-roll! Bah, my first Ogre one-turn touchdown will have to wait.
Sorry for the lack of details from the first half. The second half started with the lizardmen kicking off, with both teams starting to loose numbers.
The ogres collected the ball and stumbled vaguely forwards, occasionally stopping to stare at "dur purtee bwutterfly" or to remember what it was they were supposed to be doing. The AG3 ogre had the ball and between him and his team-mates he managed to keep hold of the ball. Eventually they found themselves with only a couple of skinks in the way who were cheerfully booted aside.
The ogre walked towards the line with a snotling in scoring range. Surely he would hand off? No! He instead elected to pass 2 squares,
and it worked!!! The first
ever successful pass in the history of Team Shrek. A truly historic moment. Amid all the delirium it was barely noticed that the snotling actually scored a touchdown, and that he was an agility 2 snotling (why didn't I fire him?!).
2-1 then, could the Ogres score again? No. A load of stones were thrown, mostly hurting the Ogre side, meaning the lizardmen had half the pitch to run into (I think this was the only kickoff roll that went notj's way). Some incompetence followed from both sides, before a skink walked into the endzone to make it 3-1 with 2 turns left each.
The end game was a gallery of hilarious incompetence.
- 3 of the 4 front line ogres go bonehead. The 4th tries to throw a snotling but only succeeded in dropping him on his head. At least my ball carrier, the Mv6 ogre managed to run most of the way to the end zone all by himself.
- Some lizards descend on the ball carrier, and rolls a double skull.
- All the ball carrier has to do to score is knock over a skink with a 3 dice block, *possibly* make a dodge and stroll into the endzone. Instead, one of the formerly-boneheaded ogres on the front line decides to hit a saurus, and rolls a double skill.
- Last turn, even more lizards descend on the ball carrier, the skinks manage to get him over on the second attempt and very nearly inflicted a humiliating injury on him. A skink catches the ball, just to show off.
The dice failed a bit heere and there in the game, but the post game numbers show were completely mental. On the D6, nj beat me by a chance score of 22, which is the same amount I beat him by on the 2D6. I destroyed him on the block dice (64% success to 38%, 1 turnover to 6!!!).
Fun game, completely crazy. I still feel I have no idea on how to manage the ogres effectively, but I tend to have fun. It was good to get back in the Ogre mindset after managing the elves. Things go wrong and on a frequent basis! Hopefully notjarvis got back into the swing of managing lizards too.
I feel a bit bad for notj though, his team suffered at the brutal hands of the Ogres and he will be missing 3 players for the first match of the regular season, including his Big Guy who he only just bought... he did well at avoiding being hit but when he did get hit I had Nuffle on my side for sure.
