David Bowie's Greatest Hit(Li)s(t)

[lawastooshort]

That’s right folks… it’s time for…

David Bowie’s Greatest Hit List!

If you can't get excited about something that I got MSPaint out for, you're barely even alive.

In keeping with this season’s excellent cup sponsorship, David Bowie will be taking time out of his hectic schedule of turning Really Stupid and touching you with his Tentacle to run a cold-blooded eye over the teams and see which players are most deserving of having a Bounty (should that be a Bowntie?) placed over their heads.

I’d insert a Bounty image here, but Rav’s already done that one so I won’t.

A Bounty?

A Bounty!

Anyone who retires one of these players will get half an entire match free of fouls next time their team faces the Mighty Undercheesers – guaranteed by David Bowie!

And anyone who kills them as well gets all of an entire match free of fouls!

Plus you also get a special listing in the list! If I get superfevered up, I might even get MSPaint back out and do you a SHERIFF'S BADGE for your signature.

You can’t say fairer than that.


We also welcome applications from other coaches to put another team’s player on Bowie’s Greatest Hit List with the reward of a match free of fouling or something similar if you can offer it. Just post the player, the reason and the reward and the OP will be updated.

Any questions?

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Bounties

Everglade Wanderers - Ernie - Bountied by David Bowie
Fables! - Bigby Wolf - Bountied by Percy, for the Crime of ruining Pirlo. Bounty: to be negotiated.
Fables! - Fairy Godmother - Bountied by David Bowie
Orkly Ducklings - Leroy - Bountied by David Bowie
The Brave Harts - May Trix - Bountied by David Bowie
The Mighty Undercheesers - Burt Bacharach - Bountied by DaigaroOgami
The Mighty Undercheesers - Lou Reed - Bountied by DaigaroOgami
Fables! - D Pack ChooChooPra - ANTIBOUNTIED by Raveen - kill him at your peril
It's a Sign! - No Entry - Bountied by id3, for the Crime of being a massive pain

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Collectors

Bigby Wolf - Retired by... an anonymous Fistful of Boomstick player!
Fairy Godmother - KILLED by... Gertrude, I presume.

[lawastooshort]

So to get started, Judge Bowie is putting out (provisional) bounties on the following lecherous delinquents:

Team: The Orkly Ducklings
Player: Hahah - yeah, no. They're not signed up yet, but if they do, Bowie's got some ideas about who should be hunted down and turned into what passes for juicy goblin burger but is in fact filthy filthy orcmeat.
Crime: For now we'll just put being an unnatural orc, eh?

Team: The Brave Harts
Player: May Trix
Crime: She's a ST4 Blodger! Bloody Hell! What does she think she is, a Vampire? No, of course not - everyone loves Vampires, but nobody loves a ST4 Blodging Amazon Catcher. Although in comparison to a MA9 or AG4 blodger, perhaps we do.

Team: Everglade Wanderers
Player: OHGODALLOFTHEPLAYERS
Crime: ANDALLOFTHEFILTHYELVENCRIMES

I'll get on to the other teams later.

Actually, no - this one can't wait:

Team: Fables!
Player: Beast
Crime: Movement bloody 9? I think I dislike this more than the AG4 on the other bloody wolf.

I'll try to be intimately offended by one player per match this season and will update this and see how it goes.

[Raveen]

What about that St 4 Ghoul? Surely that needs some attention?

Oh and should it come up - Shiny Demon. Obviously.

[lawastooshort]

Oh goodness, I'd forgotten about that bloody ghoul. It might even replace the werewolf. Urg.

[Gandalf]

That's some quality MS Paint work, sir! Almost but not quite up to the standard of this bloke.

I'll try to be intimately offended by one player per match this season and will update this and see how it goes.

Except when you play the Wanderers, it seems.

Maybe I'll just keep my crocked players until the end of the season, just to frustrate this venture. We all know we want to see Alan playing on with AV4.

[lawastooshort]

I'll try to be intimately offended by one player per match this season and will update this and see how it goes.

Except when you play the Wanderers, it seems.

Hehe - I was too tired to pick out one deserving elf and thought I'd go for the crowd-pleasing cheap shot


Also - crikey - that Frasier request is excellent.

[id3nt1ty]

Excellent.

[DaigaroOgami]

Percy would like Bowie to place a Bowntie on Burt Bacharach.

He's a linerat.

He's level 5.

He's almost as abnormal as an elf.

[Gandalf]

That's positively normal compared to my level 4 snotling. Who made it 20 games without even missing a game. What a mutant freak.

If you want a specific elf on there I would go for Alan the AV6 line-elf, Ernie the irritating catcher (who I throw into stupid situations but survives nonetheless) or the MV9 Wardancer.

[lawastooshort]

Yeah I've got to think about which elf to bounty. Probably Alan, for his AV6 is an affront.

Also, updated OP.

[Raveen]

Ernie requires death just a tiny bit more than the other Elves. Agility 5 is clearly a death mark.

[DaigaroOgami]

AG5 is clearly cheating and is a sackable offence in Percy's opinion.

[Gandalf]

Personally I think an AG4 ogre is more of an abomination than an AG5 elf.

[notjarvis]

Frankly an AG5 Vampire with Dodge and Block and sidestep was far more of an abomination than either.

[DaigaroOgami]

Oh he'll be Number 1 on the hitlist next season after you have to retire the Wanderers through megadeath this season...

(Or, to be more realistic, after the Wanderers have to sit out next season after winning the league this season).